How do people in the room feel when you’re around? Do they find you grounded, credible, and trustworthy, or do you come across as uncertain, inconsistent, and uncommitted?
Leadership presence isn’t about charisma, power, or authority. It’s not about speaking the most, showcasing intelligence, or dominating the room to prove you’re in charge. Overcompensating, over-explaining, or trying too hard to appear confident can actually do the opposite—they can make you seem disconnected or even insecure. These behaviors can damage your credibility instead of building it.
Real presence isn’t loud, showy, or forceful. It's a quiet strength. It’s the steady tone of your voice, the calm of your body language, and the consistency with which you act, listen, and communicate. It’s not defined by your intentions, but the impact you have on the people around you. It’s not what you think you’re projecting—it’s how others experience you. It’s the unspoken authority that draws attention and respect, even when you’re not in charge.
“Leadership Presence is the ability to show up in a manner that creates more space and connection, inspires one to follow you because they want to (versus have to), and invites authentic presence in others. A solid leadership presence creates impact without saying a word, evokes courage to engage, empowers others to lead, creates safety in connection, and leaves others feeling better, clearer, and even more intentional themselves — just by being in your presence — all via the simple art of intention and being.
Your leadership presence is yours for the designing.
It can be cultivated, strengthened, and expanded.
It can be positive or negative.
And it is all contagious.”
— Anese Cavanaugh
What undermines leadership presence aren’t the big mistakes or the dramatic failures, but the small, repeated behaviors that play out in everyday interactions. Interrupting without realizing,
Here are the subtle, but significant leadership habits that can quietly sabotage your presence as a leader—they’re easy to overlook, but hard to hide:
Second-Guessing or Seeking Validation
Do you constantly seek validation from others before making a choice? Do you regularly second-guess yourself and delay decisions with the fear of making mistakes?
Seeking inputs is healthy when done with the intent to invite diverse perspectives, but relying too heavily on others to confirm your choices or being indecisive and uncertain in moments where clarity is needed can make you come across as someone who doesn’t know what they’re doing.
There’s a fine line between being inclusive and being unsure. Crossing that line by not trusting your own judgment can make others start questioning it, too.
Subtle ways in which this habit can show up:
- Using tentative language like “I could be wrong, but…” or “Just my two cents…” or “I’m not sure if this makes sense…” signals self-doubt even when your idea or decision may be solid.
- Revisiting a decision that was already made by asking for more inputs just because you want to be sure creates confusion and reduces trust in your ability to lead.
- Hesitating to commit unless someone else nods first signals that you’re unsure of your own stance.
Your need for acceptance can make you invisible in this world. Don't let anything stand in the way of the light that shines through this form. Risk being seen in all of your glory.
― Jim Carrey
People don’t expect leaders to have all the answers or always to be right, but they do expect ownership—showing conviction in their decision, taking action, and adjusting as needed.
Presence requires owning your perspective, even when there’s ambiguity, things are evolving, and the outcome isn’t guaranteed. Stop outsourcing your confidence—trust your judgment, show up with decisiveness, and be willing to adjust as new insights emerge. Give others a reason to trust your leadership.
Invisible in Moments That Matter
Do you show up in the moments when your presence is most needed—when your team is looking to you for direction, when you need to have hard conversations or give difficult feedback, or when there’s rising tension and chaos?
Becoming invisible by fading into the background or staying silent when you need to speak up—nodding in agreement when you disagree, holding back opinions, or avoiding decisions when stakes are high—signals that you’re not equipped or willing to lead under pressure.
Fear of saying the wrong thing, creating conflict, or being judged can make you disappear—not just physically, but emotionally and intellectually as well. But not being fully present, especially in hard moments, makes people lose trust in your ability to lead.
Subtle ways in which this habit can show up:
- Remaining quiet in meetings where a tough decision is being debated or a conflict is emerging can make you appear disengaged or unsure, even if you’re simply trying to stay neutral.
- Automatically saying, “Whatever the team decides…” or “I trust your judgment, go ahead” without offering your own view can seem passive, especially when your insight or direction is expected.
- Using vague language like “Let’s see how it goes,” or “We’ll think about it,” or “We’ll circle back,” in moments that require decisive leadership can leave others feeling unanchored or unsupported.
- Choosing not to give direct feedback, skipping emotionally charged discussions, or letting performance issues slide because they feel uncomfortable can erode your credibility over time.
- Allowing a team member, peer, or more dominant voice in the room to always handle communication or tough messaging can signal a reluctance to lead from the front.
- When challenges arise—tight deadlines, unexpected conflict, or scrutiny—you become quieter, more reserved, or disengaged, rather than stepping up and guiding the team through uncertainty.
Sometimes the bravest and most important thing you can do is just show up.
― Brené Brown
People don’t demand perfection when things are tough, but they do expect you to speak up when everyone else goes silent, stand steady when others hesitate, and to show up with clarity even when the path is uncertain. That’s when true leadership presence is felt.
Leadership presence isn’t about being around all the time—it’s about showing up when it counts. Choosing not to say anything at all or becoming invisible in pivotal moments makes you come across as someone who lacks the courage and conviction to lead when it matters the most. Show up; stand beside your team.
Too Busy to be Present
Do you constantly rush, multitask, or appear visibly distracted—jumping between meetings, glancing at your phone while someone is speaking, scanning the room during discussions, cutting people off to save time, or frequently rescheduling one-on-ones? These may seem like small, often necessary trade-offs when you’re short of time and dealing with a packed schedule—but busyness habit sends a message that others are not worth your time and attention.
Being busy, scattered, hurried, or mentally elsewhere makes others feel unseen, unheard, and unimportant. People just don’t need your physical presence; they need your undivided attention to feel respected, important, and supported. When you appear too busy, refuse to make eye contact, or give others your undivided focus, you come across as inaccessible and uninterested. This creates a psychological barrier to sharing openly, seeking feedback, or trusting you with their growth.
Busyness creates a quiet emotional distance—being physically present but mentally checked out erodes trust, connection, and leadership presence. Over time, people stop noticing, stop caring, and stop paying attention even when you’re in the room. Your presence fades—not because you’re not there, but because you’re no longer felt.
Subtle ways in which this habit can show up:
- Even a quick look at your phone or smartwatch while someone is speaking signals disinterest, making people feel like they’re competing for your attention.
- Nodding along without truly listening can create the illusion of attention—until others realize you weren’t really tuned in.
- When you regularly arrive distracted or leave abruptly, it communicates that the meeting—or the people in it—aren’t your priority.
- Answering emails or prepping for the next meeting while someone is speaking tells them their time with you is transactional, not relational.
- Repeating questions that have already been addressed reveals inattentiveness—and subtly signals that you weren’t fully present in the conversation.
Tethered to our smartphones, we are too caught up and distracted to take the time necessary to sort through complexity or to locate submerged purpose. In our urgent rush to get "there," we are going everywhere but being nowhere. Far too busy managing with transactive speed, we rarely step back to lead with transformative significance.
― Kevin Cashman
People don’t need a leader who’s always in motion. They need a leader who’s present in the moment—someone who’s willing to slow down to listen, focus, and connect. Someone who makes them feel important—not like an interruption. Someone who’s not rushing from task to task, but pausing to build real connections.
Slow down when it counts. When you’re truly present, even brief moments can feel like an hour of focused leadership. It’s that feeling that leaves a lasting influence—one that builds leadership presence.
Ignore the Human Connection
Do you prioritize work at the expense of relationships—jumping straight into tasks, skipping over personal check-ins, or communicating in a tone that feels more transactional than human?
When work takes precedence over relationships and outcomes become the sole focus, it’s easy to overlook how your team is really doing. You may miss signs of burnout, disengagement, or personal struggles—moments that call not for direction, but for empathy and support.
Valuing productivity over relationships creates a subtle but powerful disconnect—people begin to feel like resources, rather than individuals who matter. They may follow instructions, but they won’t feel truly seen, supported, or motivated. Over time, this erodes the very foundation of leadership presence—trust, relatability, and emotional credibility.
Subtle ways in which this habit can show up:
- You avoid small talk, personal conversations, or emotional topics because they feel unproductive or too personal for work.
- You focus only on what needs to be fixed or improved, without pausing to ask how the person is doing, what they’re struggling with, or what support they might need.
- Your team only hears from you when there’s a deadline, a request, or a problem. This makes your communication feel transactional rather than relational.
Your presence isn’t something you put on and take off like a jacket; it’s something you build with every single interaction.
— Allison Shapira
People don’t just want to be managed—they want to be seen. They want to be recognized not only for what they contribute, but for who they are. And that kind of recognition doesn’t happen by default—it requires intention, presence, and a genuine interest in the person behind the role.
Leadership presence depends on relational connections, not routines. It’s not about how efficiently you run a meeting, how many goals you check off, or how many targets you achieve. It’s about how you make them feel when doing those things together. Don’t treat people like an item on a to-do list. Slow down. Look up. Be human. That’s where real presence begins.
Speak in Vague, Unclear Terms
Do you speak in generalities, avoid specifics, or hesitate to take a clear position? Do you speak in vague, indirect, or overly broad terms?
Saying things like “Let’s see how it goes,” “We’ll figure it out later,” or “It depends,” leaves people unsure of where you stand or what’s expected. When people are left to interpret your intent—what you really mean, what’s expected, or where things are headed—it leads to confusion and uncertainty.
People may nod in meetings, but walk away unsure of what action to take. They may make assumptions, draw conclusions, or decide on the wrong path to take. Without the clarity and confidence they expect from a leader, trust begins to slip and momentum stalls. Presence without clarity soon turns into noise.
Subtle ways in which this habit can show up:
- When asked for a decision or opinion, you respond with “That’s a great question…” and then sidestep the actual answer. This can create a perception that you’re hesitant, unclear, or unwilling to take a stand.
- Leaning on jargon or leadership cliches like “synergy,” “alignment,” “leverage,” or “thinking outside the box” without guiding people in clear actions or directions leads to confusion rather than clarity.
- Offering input like “Do better,” “Be more strategic,” “Try to tighten this up,” or “Think bigger” without specifics makes it hard for others to act on your feedback or meet your expectations.
- Using passive voice, “Mistakes were made,” “It got overlooked,” or group-blurring terms “We’ll need to think about…” can dilute ownership and make it unclear who is responsible for what.
Communication has power. But as with any form of power, it needs to be harnessed effectively or it can all too often backfire.
― Helio Fred Garcia
As a leader, your voice carries weight. Use it to bring structure to ambiguity, to simplify complexity, and to help others move forward with confidence. Vague, ambiguous language undermines presence. Even when the path is uncertain, your ability to clearly articulate what matters, what’s next, and what’s true gives others the confidence to follow you.
Clarity doesn’t require perfection—it requires presence, intention, and the courage to be direct. Speak with purpose. Choose clarity over comfort. Unclear words don’t just blur your message—they blur your leadership.
Quick to Solve, Slow to Listen
Do you have the tendency to jump to solutions without taking the time to understand what’s really going on or how people actually feel? Do you offer advice before others have the chance to finish explaining or steer the conversation toward action without understanding the context behind what’s being said?
Hearing a problem, fixing it fast, and moving on can feel efficient—you want to be helpful, you want to remove obstacles, you want to keep things moving. But over-indexing on the problem without paying attention to the person behind it can make them feel overlooked and dismissed.
This habit can quietly push people away. They may stop coming to you for support because involving you often means losing control, giving up ownership, being talked over, or being forced into a solution before they have a chance to think it through. It’s better to hide mistakes, not share concerns, and continue to stay stuck than risk being overshadowed.
Subtle ways in which this habit can show up:
- Your first response is advice or action, rather than curiosity or reflection—cutting short someone else’s thought process.
- You become uncomfortable with pauses and quickly fill them with your ideas, not realizing that those quiet moments are where others gather their thoughts or build the courage to speak.
- Instead of asking clarifying questions, you reword or reinterpret what others said based on your perspective—subtly taking control of the narrative.
- You skip over emotions or context and steer the conversation toward action plans, making people feel like their concerns weren’t fully heard.
- You often use phrases like “It’s simple…” or “Just do this…” which can sound dismissive or minimizing, especially when the issue feels complex or emotionally loaded for the other person.
The purpose of the leader is to make sure there is leadership – which is not the same as having all the answers or leading from the front every time.
— James Scouller
The ability to diagnose issues and take corrective action is valuable—but it shouldn’t be done by hijacking the space and sidelining others. You need to collaborate, not dominate. You need to listen, not speak. You need to amplify others’ intelligence, not put a spotlight on yourself.
Leadership presence isn’t about taking over—it’s about drawing others in. It’s about creating space to listen deeply, reflect collaboratively, and elevate the thinking in the room—not just your own. Slow down. Ask questions. Stay curious a little longer.
Unchecked Emotions on Display
How do you show up when pressure is high, expectations aren’t met, or communication breaks down? Is there visible tension in your voice, a hint of disappointment in your tone, or impatience in your body language?
Unchecked emotions like irritation, sarcasm, defensiveness, or emotional withdrawal shake people’s confidence in your leadership. People start worrying about saying or doing things that might trigger an emotional outburst. This makes them hide mistakes, choose words carefully, and play safe as they try to stay out of your way.
Whether it’s showing frustration in a meeting that disregards your views, aggressive tone in an email that challenges your authority, raising your voice when someone disagrees with you, or passive-aggressive behavior when things don’t go well, these moments don’t just pass away—they linger in the minds of those around you. Your presence becomes associated with emotional reactivity, making people hesitant to lean on you.
Subtle ways in which this habit can show up:
- A minor mistake triggers disproportionate anger, disappointment, or criticism—making people feel unsafe to experiment or admit failure.
- Your tone is dismissive, cold, irritated, or sarcastic—leaving people unsure whether they’re safe to continue.
- You express frustration with a sigh, eye-roll, smirk, clenched jaw, or visibly tightening posture when someone speaks.
- You become rigid, justify quickly, or shut down disagreement—often driven by ego or fear.
- You turn distant, unresponsive, or passive-aggressive when things don’t go your way—silently signaling disapproval without addressing it directly.
Big emotions—like anger, fear, and sadness—can be really uncomfortable. But even uncomfortable feelings are okay. In fact, all emotions are okay. It just takes practice to manage uncomfortable emotions so you can respond in a healthy way.
― Jessica Speer
People notice how you show up—can you stay calm in pressure-filled moments, stay grounded in discomfort, and manage your emotions when things get tough? The steadier you are in difficult moments, the more confident others feel in your leadership.
Leadership presence is not about suppressing emotions—it’s about regulating them. It means acknowledging them without letting them drive your behavior. Consciously create space between stimulus and response. Respond with intention rather than impulse.
Summary
- Constantly doubting yourself or waiting for others to approve your decisions makes you come across as weak and indecisive. Building leadership presence requires trusting your judgment, even when the path ahead is ambiguous, uncertain, or the outcome isn’t guaranteed—be willing to take a stand and course-correct as needed.
- Withdrawing during conflict or tough situations tells people they can’t trust you for guidance and support. Leadership presence is not built by hiding, but by showing up when it matters the most.
- When you rush, multitask, or appear distracted, people in the team feel unseen and unimportant. Being physically present isn’t enough—your full attention is what builds leadership presence.
- Focusing only on tasks while not taking the time to connect with people makes them feel like tools to get the job done—not individuals who matter. Leadership presence isn’t just about driving outcomes—it’s about seeing, hearing, and understanding the humans behind the work. Acknowledge people, show empathy, and invest in building relationships.
- Using vague, ambiguous language leads to confusion, misunderstandings, and rework. Clear, direct communication enhances performance and productivity, which makes your leadership stand out and your presence felt.
- Jumping to solutions without listening can make others feel unheard and dismissed. Leadership presence requires pausing, listening, and showing interest in what others have to say.
- Visible frustration, defensiveness, or emotional outbursts unsettle teams. Leadership presence requires emotional steadiness, especially in high-pressure moments.
This story was previously published here. Follow me on LinkedIn or here for more stories.